Hats

I can’t wear hats. I used to, to cover up a bad hair day, or just to try and compliment an outfit, but it feels suffocating.

Even when I stopped wearing physical hats, during Jr. High it felt like I was constantly wearing different hats, and was never without them. One hat to make my friends laugh and relate to me, one hat to help dismiss my mother’s growing concern for my clear gaming addition and disassociation from school; followed up by a hat to convince and apologize to her, letting her know everything was ok when clearly it wasn’t.

The only times I let my hair out was when I was alone, and it’d be such a mess and so misshapen that I’d panic and cry about it, until I decided to wear a hat to bed as to avoid having to deal with it. Eventually my friends began to notice that as ok as my hat was, I clearly wasn’t.

Slowly, I forced myself to stop wearing hats, trying to accept my hair, as messy as it may be, and found that most people still loved me, most importantly, well–me.

Now there’s nothing wrong with hats, and I’m not meaning to bash on those who wear them to hide their hair, sometimes it’s genuinely just easier, but I myself don’t feel comfortable while wearing them, nor do I think I look better.

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Apart from the beanies I like during the winter, they’re soft and cover up my messy hair.

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Shit. Well it was almost a cool analogy :p